So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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