So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
