There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
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