Just fell off a train. Bad.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
