All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
