id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
