just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
