Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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