someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'm both gender and math confused
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
