yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
