I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize