summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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