Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Blood and glitter go together right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
