I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
