Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
