Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize