I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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