i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
