soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
