you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
