Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
