chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He told me they were just razor bumps!
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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