yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
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