I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
