Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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