Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
