It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
4 words: hood of his car
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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