We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
