I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
