I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
