so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
How drunk are you?
Completed.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I woke up under a house in Key West
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
