Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
