Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize