If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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