Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
