theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
