I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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