Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
