If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
