I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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