Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
