I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
