Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I want her autograph on my taint
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
