I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
