My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
