just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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