I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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