i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
