It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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