dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Me too!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
