Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
