he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
