I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
