She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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