I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Just cropdusted the office
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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