...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
