I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Do you remember whose house we're in?
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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