toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
