Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
