I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
