I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
