We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize