I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
