Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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