Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
