just come out here and I will go home with you...
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
