i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
do nipples grow back?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
