Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
