Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize