I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
