Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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