She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
