So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
