The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
