I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Randomize
