Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
