dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize