Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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