is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
