The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
