if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
ok first of all what the fuck
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
